Friday, November 9, 2007

Goodbye old buddy...


On Wednesday morning the garbage truck hauled away my trusty, faithful, and absurdly comfy blue recliner. Every guy out there knows how he feels about 'his chair'. Archie Bunker's is in the Smithsonian; mine is now in a landfill near Blaine, MN. When I suggested that I sell it on CraigsList or even Twin Cities Free Market I was met by universal laughter and derision. I will have to admit that in cross examination I would not fare very well.......

"Is is true that ethnic food from most of the nations on earth has been spilled on this chair"
"Yes"
"Is it true that beer and other adult beverages from several states and nations have also soiled this piece of furniture"
"Yes (sigh)"
"Is the chair in perfect working order"
"Not quite; I had to put on some oversized bolts when I stripped the....."
"Just answer the question Mr Olson"
"No"
"Does it match any other piece of furniture, carpet, drapes, artwork, or anything else in your dwelling even remotely"
"Well, not really, no"

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the blog reading community, I rest my case!"

In any event, I never looked at the color, stains, minor operational quirks, or other cosmetic frailties; I just sat there and watched TV or read while enjoying my post work beer. So on Tuesday night, on the curb next to the garbage cans, I had one last beer with my old buddy before he was 'put to sleep' by the Waste Management sanitation engineering staff. I'm sure my new leather, lovely looking recliner will eventually conform to the shape of my ass and provide the same enjoyment (plus it has the Stainguard Protection Package!) as 'ol Blue' but for now I just need to raise a toast to my faithful chair and savor the memories. Bon voyage old buddy.

4 comments:

Silbs said...

What next, sell your children? :)

DaveO said...

My eldest youth was stunned that ol' blue was set out on the curb. Maybe that was in the back of his mind!

Terry said...

I thought the black arm band was a nice touch...

Adam Omelianchuk said...

Wow. This is so tragic. I sat in that chair a lot while playing video games with your son. All good things must come to an end, I suppose.